Parenting Recommendations by Age

Topic: Parenting Recommendations by Age


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As children grow, they go through several stages: prenatal, infancy, toddler, early childhood, middle childhood, early adolescent, and late adolescence. Here are some parenting recommendations based on their child stage.


Prenatal

  • Stress-free environment.
  • Healthy expression of emotions.
  • Positive self-esteem.
  • Healthy eating & proper nutrition.
  • Avoid exposure to toxins (smelling, consuming, touching).
  • Talking to child. Pre-birth talking.
  • Avoid loud sounds.
  • Minimize electronic use near the womb (placing laptop or cellphone on or near the stomach).

Infants (Birth to 1-year)

  • Talk intelligently to child. Avoid “baby talk.”
  • Expose to as many words as possible. Use new words frequently.
  • Read to your child.
  • Play with your child.
  • Incorporate music.
  • When the child cries, attend to their needs.
  • Touch and hold your child often.
  • Introduce routines and rituals (bedtime, eating).
  • Allow child to play frequently.
  • Avoid television and electronic use. You can introduce a limited amount beginning around 18 to 24 months.
  • Establish rules and enforce them.
  • Communicate eye-level with them when possible.
  • Discipline may consist of sternly saying “No” followed by a brief explanation; Distracting and redirecting the unwanted behavior; modeling the desired behavior to child. 

Toddlers (1-year to 2-years)

  • Begin assigning your child simple tasks to complete.
  • Encourage and praise often.
  • Limit screen time to as little as possible. Incorporation of some learning programs is okay.
  • Children get curious during this stage, allow them to explore but maintain a safe environment.
  • High energy is normal (running, climbing, etc.).
  • Encourage independence (dressing and feeding themselves).
  • Be consistence with rules and boundaries.
  • Begin including time-outs into discipline. Timeout should be a few minutes, followed by a contract to return to play. For example, after child has sat for 5 minutes you may say, “I’m going to let you go play now, but I don’t want you to kick anymore. Do you understand?” If the child answers yes, you may reinforce it once more before allowing them to play.

Early Childhood (3-years to 5-years)

  • Continue: reading, using new words, encouragement, limiting screen time, consistency with rules and routines.
  • Encourage socialization.
  • Introduce choices and options to your child to encourage decision-making.
  • Provide a more detailed explanation of rules and restrictions.
  • Begin to set and explain behavioral expectations.
  • Problem-solving should begin cooperative where needed.
  • Begin allowing negotiation.
  • Begin incorporating explanations with discipline. Avoid, “Because I said so.” Reframing behavior (focus on the good).

Middle Childhood (6-years to 8-years)

  • Continue: reading, using new words, encouragement, limiting screen time, consistency with rules and routines.
  • Reading can begin transitioning into independent activity.
  • Begin to encourage independence and responsibility.
  • Encourage positive characteristics through modeling, a healthy environment, and conversation.
  • Engage more in meaningful conversations.
  • Encourage new challenges.
  • Discipline should include talking through consequences and the removal of privileges where appropriate. Time-outs may still be used depending on the child.

Middle Childhood (9-years to 11-years)

  • Children may begin to experience and act on peer-pressure. This is because they begin valuing how they are seen and who they are.
  • Continually encourage, affirm, and value their identity.
  • Begin increasing the amount of meaningful time you spend with them.
  • Help them develop a sense of morality.
  • Increase affection.
  • Begin introducing topics on sexuality and the changes their bodies will soon experience.
  • Negotiation should be a normal part of your relationship with them.
  • Discipline from this age into late adolescent should include:
  • ◦         Conversation.
  • ◦         Negotiation and Contracts.
  • ◦         Removal of Privileges.
  • ◦         Rewards & Consequences.

Early Adolescent (12-years to 14-years)

  • Increase parental involvement by engaging and taking an interest in their activities.
  • Continue to show affection, even if they do not show it back.
  • Hormones may cause moodiness and irritability. Do not give in to mood swings; remain emotionally balanced as the parent.
  • Parents remain united on decisions. Do not position yourself against your spouse.
  • Pay attention to severe mood or behavioral changes that may cause harm. 
  • Prepare for discussing the future.
  • Increase meaningful conversations (sexuality, spirituality, drugs, consequences for actions, self-harm).
  • Introduce the idea of courting, wait to at least 15 to allow.
  • ◦         Courting carries the idea of an intentional engagement of the opposite sex with the purpose of gaining healthy romantic relationship skills that may result in marriage. During this time physical contact is discouraged (kissing, intercourse, sensual touches), and parties spend time around each other’s family.
  • ◦         Dating is thought of as a casual romantic relationship where sensual touching, including sex, is permissible. Dating traditionally does not focus on marriage and can be for companionship or convenience, and typically is practiced independently from family involvement. 
  • Allow privacy with the understanding that privacy is a privilege that is maintained through honesty and responsibility.  
  • Discipline from this age into late adolescent should include:
  • ◦         Conversation.
  • ◦         Negotiation and Contracts.
  • ◦         Removal of Privileges.
  • ◦         Rewards & Consequences.

Early Adolescent (15-years to 17-years)

  • Continue with the same recommendations as above.
  • Increase altruistic activities.
  • Require logical explanations for behavior and decisions.
  • Continue spending meaningful time with them.
  • Begin developing plans for transitioning into independent adulthood.
  • Encourage teens identity and self-concept.
  • Keep commitments and remain consistent; avoid hypocrisy.
  • Allow independence and establish clearly defined house rules.
  • Don’t refer to them as a child. Use the term teenager or young adult.
  • Value and solicit their opinions.
  • Recommended time for (if desired):
  • ◦         Employment, Courting, Social Media Use
  • Discipline should include more grace.

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