Session 9: Wives
The role of a wife far extends beyond a mere helper where she is tasked with keeping her home clean, making sure bills are paid, laundry and meals are done. Genesis 2:18 was not set up to list out domestic roles as wives. This scripture was empowering wives to embrace every area of the role they play in the lives of their husbands, in advocating for him, aiding in his advancement as he fulfills God’s ordained purpose for his life -your life, and family.
God, when He made Adam, said it was not good for man to be alone. There is something remarkable about that statement. When considering solitary confinement and how it at times will drive an individual literally mad, that thought helps put the statement "it is not good that man should be alone" into perspective.
God knew that man needed companionship. He could have created another man to fill that need, or given one of the animals to Adam, but God stated, “I will make him a suitable helper comparable to him.”
At that very moment, the wife became a suitable helper who is comparable to him -your husband. You are given all of the tools necessary to support him, to encourage him and to inspire him. When your husband is off track, as a helpmeet, you know how to listen to the Holy Spirit who may have you remain silent or encourage you to speak from a place of love and support—without attacking or emasculating because you understand when he wins the family wins.
When he struggles and falls off track—the family struggles and is also off track. Proverbs 14:1 says “A wise woman builds her house, but a foolish woman tears her house down with her own hands.” When you understand precisely what your roles are in your marriages, you respond from a place of understanding; a place that offers sound reason and wisdom, contributing to God’s plan for your marriage and family.
If your role is a suitable helper comparable to your husband then when he falls short you aren’t to fault find, becoming quarrelsome and contentious, or even scolding or nagging. That is the role of a foolish woman who seeks to tear down her home with her own hands. Be wise and build up instead. You are anointed to uplift, to offer creative ideas and deep insight.
As a wife, you demonstrate great strength when you walk in your God-ordained role as a suitable counterpart. As a suitable counterpart for him, that means you are the most fitting, and no one else. So, embrace, celebrate and experience the freedom and reward that exists in being your husband's helpmeet.
Resourcefulness requires the individual to be quick and wise at problem-solving. In order for this to occur, one must be in control of themselves, so they are entirely conscientious of the situation they are in. Resourcefulness calls for a passionate yet measured approach when confronting situations.
Proverbs 31 depicts a picture of a resourceful wife. According to this passage, wives are virtuous, faithful, giving, kind, wise, knowledgeable, hardworking, providers, elegant, good stewards, planners, strong, and lovers of God. From the very beginning of creation, women were created this way. If Adam were to be assisted with all he had to do, he would have needed someone who was resourceful.
When God created Eve, he created her ready to work alongside Adam—prepared to rule and subdue the earth. Imagine the characteristics Eve must have possessed! Mature women have a desire to put their resourcefulness to use. They are ready to contribute to the success of something, but when there is no direction, frustration may seep in.
Submission has been stigmatized as a negative archaic chauvinistic term used to describe unintelligent, foolish dependent women. This cannot be any further from the truth. Biblical marital submission does not refer to a slavish dynamic exacted on the wife from the husband. A wife’s submission mirrors the submission that the Church shows Christ. In the Church’s submission, Christ is not looking for uniformity; rather, his desire is to unify us. Christ seeks to employ our unique contributions to benefit the body of Christ, but we must first give our giftings to him so he can use them.
This is the same idea behind wives yielding to their husbands. It is also the antidote to the curse of dysfunctional relationships that began in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 3:16). Part of the curse from Genesis 3 was that the women would seek to control the man resulting in a dysfunctional strained dynamic. Submission is the way out of this negative cycle. When you submit to your husband, you do not become a slave; rather you show your trust, support, and gifts toward the efforts of the marriage. Submission does not violate identity; in fact, it must maintain identity to contribute God-design gifts to the marriage properly.
While the husband is tasked with handling his wife with care, the wife is tasked with trusting her husband’s ability to protect, provide, and care for.
For the wife, submission is the act of unifying herself to the marriage while coming into agreement with the servant-leadership of her husband. Simply put, submission is possessing the desire to let your husband lead. It frees you from the burden of carrying two roles (wife and husband/female and male), allowing you to exist as God has created you to. Submission takes comfort in knowing that your husband is equipped for every good work concerning every member of the family. There is no fear in submission, rather there is camaraderie and confidence; camaraderie because mutual trust and respect exists; confidence because there is proven trustworthiness and faithfulness.
- What roles will you play as the wife and woman of your home?
- What will you do if you feel your husband is not as assertive as you?
- Is he worthy of your submission?
- Is submission different from compliance?
- How do you expect to be treated as a wife?
- Who will you confide in (be accountable to) as a wife?